Why wear a wedding ring on your fourth finger?

Saw this and thought it was pretty good…too bad people just end up scrapping the whole thing…(slipping here into an undoubtedly pessimistic era).

The All New Wedding Vows

‘Cause come on folks, let’s be realistic…

Groom:
In the name of God, I, (insert name), take you, (insert name), to be my first/second/fifth wife,
to have and to hold from this day until (insert presumed date of divorce)
for better or at least until something better comes along,

for richer or richerer, in sickness and in health…well, maybe not sickness, but for sure health, to love and to cherish when is most convenient,
until we are parted by disagreements, debt, and deceit,  . 
This is my solemn vow.

Bride:
In the name of God, I, (insert name), take you, (insert name), to be my husband,
to have, to hold and to take for granted from this day until (insert presumed date of internet/work/hired help affair),
for better or for better rest when I make you sleep on the couch,

for richer or….um, let’s skip this one,
in sickness, health and recovery from lipo/botox/plastic surgery,

to love and to cherish before the mortgage, job and home appliances become more important,
until we are parted by a mutual rejection of each other.
This is my solemn vow.

 OR… 

Alternative Vows…

I, [insert name], take you [insert name], to be my door mat, my partner in some parts of life and lucky number (insert number of marriage) of my true loves.
I will cherish our friendship and love you today,
maybe tomorrow, but probably not forever
I will distrust you, yet always pretend otherwise
I will laugh with you, but let you cry alone.
I will love you faithfully

Until I discover the true meaning of the word.
Through the best times and nothing more,
Through the difficult and then through the more difficult divorce.
For what may come I might be there.
As I have given you my hand to hold for now,
So I give you my life to keep for a few years
So help me God.

            Being the product of such modern views of marriage, as one can see, have made me a tad cynical.  “What right have you to judge?” most say, “You’ve never been in the position”.  True enough I suppose, but my judgment comes from the resulting pain and knowing I could never impose such anguish on my offspring.  How do you make a child feel like a solitary soul in the world?  Break the vows you declared before man and God.  Marriage has become this joke we see played as a game on television, that while entertaining us it unconsciously obliterates the idea of its sacredness in our minds.  We have become so desensitized by the low blows marriage has incurred that we are no longer in tune with the permanent damage that broken vows and broken hearts leave us with.  Quite frankly, I am disgusted with the majority of the human race for selfishly trading in faith, hope and love for the fast paced, high-tech, all consuming world of today.  It is a mentality we seem to not be able to escape.  Nothing lasts.  Cell phones die, fads and fashions fade, cars break down and we are always left wanting something bigger, better and more desirable.  Are we so out of touch with our true human nature that we apply these principles of modern society to holy oaths?  What really matters is lost in the debris of packaging from our multitude of gadgets and gizmos, and all hope is lost for the future generation.  “Our marriage is crumbling…but here’s the credit card number for that six foot plasma T.V. we need”.  So help me God…