“I will dispense that advice…now”

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.

Anyone remember this speech?

I came across this speech again a little while ago, while traveling in the car and listening to old high school CDs (a great past time if you want to stroll down memory lane). 8 years later, I love it, and appreciate it even more. Especially the sunscreen.

But if I had to come out with one, and only one, original piece of advice for the coming generation it would be…

Give generously. Even just keeping a dollar always in your pocket for that person in greater need, on the street, in a store, where ever. It’s good for the soul. Better than fasting. Better than cleansing. Better than soup. It can make a world of difference.

What would be yours?

Our Punishment

         

 Their eyes were the worst.  Staring, judging, taunting, rolling.  Condemning with every raised eyebrow.  As if they knew what it felt like.

       The circumstances under which I found myself that year were what most people would call typical.  I fell in love.  What more do you want?  It didn’t matter that he was five years older than me.  It didn’t matter that my parents didn’t approve.  It didn’t matter that everyone stared.  I saw none of it.  Love is blind, isn’t that what they say?  And in my case, it was true.  Like a blindfolded sheep being lead to the slaughter, I would have let him guide me to the ends of the earth.  And in that room, it sure felt like the end.

       The teacher called for our attention and ordered us to our seats, but I could still feel their eyes.  They knew.  Everyone knew.  You can’t honestly expect to hold such a secret in a high school full of teenagers just dying for their next gossip victim, like vultures circling over a creature struggling for its last breath.

       I felt a wave of nausea and forced my eyes shut.  Clenching my jaw and holding back tears, I gripped my pencil tightly in hopes of some much needed security.  I hadn’t even told my mother yet, and they all knew.

      Of course, I said goodbye to my love as soon as the words, “I’m pregnant,” came blurting out of my mouth.  I had known for awhile, but didn’t know how I could possibly tell him.  Now, I wish I had kept my mouth closed.  But how long could I expect to withhold such information?  A month?  Two months?  Maybe even five?  Eventually, he would have figured it out, and left just as quickly and without words.  I’m better off.

      I keep telling myself that, like I might start to believe it someday.  It doesn’t stop me from feeling as though half of me is missing.  Like a head, or an arm.  Or worse.  A torso.  He was never worth my while, but once again, love is blind.

     The sick feeling in my stomach kept building.  Why me?  I closed my eyes again and lost control and let a solitary tear creep down my cheek.  I was alone, completely and utterly.  The world had isolated me entirely because I broke a fundamental, yet unwritten rule—sixteen year olds do not get pregnant.

     So this is my punishment.  I will forever walk around with a marred reputation, a tainted and imperfect soul, known never as the girl who gets good grades, or is the star athlete, but as the one who traded her flower for a child.  I will be condemned by my peers not because I am carrying a child, but because I am sixteen and carrying one.  This child, who would otherwise be called a miracle, is now labeled a mistake due simply to the circumstances—to timing.          

     This is not just my punishment.  It is ours.

 

The All New Wedding Vows

‘Cause come on folks, let’s be realistic…

Groom:
In the name of God, I, (insert name), take you, (insert name), to be my first/second/fifth wife,
to have and to hold from this day until (insert presumed date of divorce)
for better or at least until something better comes along,

for richer or richerer, in sickness and in health…well, maybe not sickness, but for sure health, to love and to cherish when is most convenient,
until we are parted by disagreements, debt, and deceit,  . 
This is my solemn vow.

Bride:
In the name of God, I, (insert name), take you, (insert name), to be my husband,
to have, to hold and to take for granted from this day until (insert presumed date of internet/work/hired help affair),
for better or for better rest when I make you sleep on the couch,

for richer or….um, let’s skip this one,
in sickness, health and recovery from lipo/botox/plastic surgery,

to love and to cherish before the mortgage, job and home appliances become more important,
until we are parted by a mutual rejection of each other.
This is my solemn vow.

 OR… 

Alternative Vows…

I, [insert name], take you [insert name], to be my door mat, my partner in some parts of life and lucky number (insert number of marriage) of my true loves.
I will cherish our friendship and love you today,
maybe tomorrow, but probably not forever
I will distrust you, yet always pretend otherwise
I will laugh with you, but let you cry alone.
I will love you faithfully

Until I discover the true meaning of the word.
Through the best times and nothing more,
Through the difficult and then through the more difficult divorce.
For what may come I might be there.
As I have given you my hand to hold for now,
So I give you my life to keep for a few years
So help me God.

            Being the product of such modern views of marriage, as one can see, have made me a tad cynical.  “What right have you to judge?” most say, “You’ve never been in the position”.  True enough I suppose, but my judgment comes from the resulting pain and knowing I could never impose such anguish on my offspring.  How do you make a child feel like a solitary soul in the world?  Break the vows you declared before man and God.  Marriage has become this joke we see played as a game on television, that while entertaining us it unconsciously obliterates the idea of its sacredness in our minds.  We have become so desensitized by the low blows marriage has incurred that we are no longer in tune with the permanent damage that broken vows and broken hearts leave us with.  Quite frankly, I am disgusted with the majority of the human race for selfishly trading in faith, hope and love for the fast paced, high-tech, all consuming world of today.  It is a mentality we seem to not be able to escape.  Nothing lasts.  Cell phones die, fads and fashions fade, cars break down and we are always left wanting something bigger, better and more desirable.  Are we so out of touch with our true human nature that we apply these principles of modern society to holy oaths?  What really matters is lost in the debris of packaging from our multitude of gadgets and gizmos, and all hope is lost for the future generation.  “Our marriage is crumbling…but here’s the credit card number for that six foot plasma T.V. we need”.  So help me God…

So Much For Our Happy Endings

Which came first, tragic stories or tragic lives? Does art reflect what we have become or did it create the sad world we now know? It seems we are no longer satisfied with the happy endings of simpler times, but crave darker tales of isolation, abandonment, loss, even death, in order to make us feel—feel something, anything at all. I’m just left wondering whether it is because we forgot to be happy somewhere along the way. Not a day to day happiness, but a joy and contentment in the accomplishment of merely living. Is it this forgetting that caused a need for a powerful enough emotion like misery to replace what used to dwell within, which is just reflected in the stories we tell, or did the need for an expansion of literature drive our paths to mirror new tragic patterns? Whatever the cause, whatever the effect, I have a feeling our world is not as it once was. We are not what we once were. Only ghosts, lost within the shadows of sweet misery—wandering forever as its companion, and calling out to a past road we said goodbye to long ago.

Thoughts on life and love

Love, when held tightly in one’s hand (just like anything in nature) will never grow. It will wither and die. The lesson of love that so few seem to learn is a direction. To fall in love and look solely at the one person, never glancing away–even with the best intentions–is to miss the larger picture. To love someone enough to look WITH them, in the direction of the future is to truly begin to understand the meaning of the well-battered, war-beaten word we know so little about.